Children and Young People
Counselling for children and young people can help them to make sense of the challenges of childhood and the teenage years. Childhood and adolescence can be really tough. For parents, we can appreciate how difficult it can be worrying about your child and wanting to make sure that they get the right support. We offer one to one therapy using creative techniques to engage younger children as well as sessions with family members, if appropriate.
Sessions are child focused and different tools may be used to help children to express their feelings, such as through drawing or play. The methods used depend on the child's age, development and situation. Reading stories and talking about the feelings of a specific character can help them understand the emotion and encourage them to open up about their own feelings.
To begin with, the focus of the sessions will be on building a rapport and helping them to feel safe and secure. By creating a safe space to talk through their concerns, psychological therapy can help children understand their emotions better, develop coping skills and build emotional resilience.
Issues we can help with include:
- Anger
- Anxiety
- Autism Spectrum Conditions
- Bullying
- Family difficulties
- Challenging behaviours
- Confidence
- Coping with physical health issues
- Difficult life events
- Identity
- Low mood
- Panic
- Parenting stress
- School difficulties
- Self-esteem
Adolescence can be a difficult time for a lot of young people. The transition into independence usually involves taking on more responsibility, making big decisions and can include problems with friendships and fitting in, disagreements with parents, thoughts about identity and the future, academic pressures and generally feeling overwhelmed and stressed.
Before working together, we believe it is important to have a clear discussion about how much young people are willing to share about their psychological therapy sessions with their parents or carers. Depending on the nature of the work and with their permission, we may suggest a review appointment every now and then with a family member so that we can talk altogether about how things are going.
GCSE and 'A' level examination years are hugely pressurised years. Exam time may be difficult not only for the person doing the exams but also for those around them. The pressure to do well in exams can contribute to feeling overwhelmed, stressed and panicky. Feeling this way can make it difficult to concentrate. To find the balance of revision, relaxation and time away from the books is hard and can increase the chances of overreacting to situations or possible conflict with family members.
School exams can be particularly stressful because young people may feel that if things don't go to plan then it could ruin their future plans. Whilst feeling under pressure, it can be really hard to be resilient and to believe that there are other options. The subject of exams and the future may come up in lots of conversations and interactions with friends and family. It may feel like there is no escape from the pressure. Talking to someone impartial can be really helpful for both young people and parents who want advice about how to support their children during this difficult time.
Parenting
It is not uncommon for people to find the ups and downs of parenting a challenge.
We offer support to families who are experiencing difficulties within parent-child relationships and may need support with parenting. I appreciate how hard parenting can be, the challenges families can face and I am familiar with different types of therapeutic parenting approaches.
Discipline has come to mean many things. When talking about bringing up children, we often understand it to mean reprimanding a child for what is considered 'bad behaviour'. Many people don't realise that there is a different way which prioritises 'connection' with the child.
Traditional parenting approaches such as using rewards and punishments can override a child's natural inclination to try. In other words, it teaches them to behave in a certain way to get a reward or to avoid a punishment which can often be successful only in the short term.
Children and young people have an underdeveloped brain which is not fully mature until they are in their mid twenties. When children are seeking attention or 'acting up', it's their way of communicating "I'm overwhelmed right now and I need your help".
The 'naughty step' or 'time out' can give children the message that when they have got a problem, they are being sent away or left alone to sort it out by themselves. 'Time out' punishes children for having an immature brain and struggling with something. When children behave 'poorly' it's usually because their brains aren't developed enough to help them be more controlled/behave better.
The best discipline for children does not have to involve punishment, repercussions or consequences. There appears to be a misperception in society that when children do something wrong, they must be given a consequence or punishment in order to teach them a lesson and in order to discipline well. This is a really outdated idea and what we want to do is to teach children how to react in a more appropriate way whilst bearing in mind their capabilities and brain development.
Once we understand the meaning of children's behaviours, rather than seeing them as 'naughty', we are able to provide a nurturing and caring response. This will contribute hugely to the relationship you have with your child and will help with increasing resilience to manage difficulties in the future.
All behaviours are meaningful and a way of communicating an unmet need. A few examples could be: feeling overwhelmed with emotion, unwell, tired, hungry or thirsty, a change in environment or circumstances which have been difficult to adapt to, issues with friendships, struggling with learning or making sense of something etc.
Sarah Ockwell Smith is a parenting expert who specialises in attachment theory and writes about how this style of parenting, which is scientific and evidence based, is the healthiest way to raise a confident, happy, independent, intelligent and kind child.
Sometimes it can be helpful to consider how you were parented and your own experiences as a child and how these may have influenced your approach and the pros and cons of this.
If you would like to know more about this and figuring out what works best to meet the emotional needs of your child, do get in touch.
Schools
Clinical Psychologists are trained to support and liase with whats called the 'team around the child'. During the first appointment with a child, the beginnings of a formulation are produced. This formulation is basically a way of understanding and explaining a child's difficulties and is contributed to each time further information is gathered. Sharing the formulation of the difficulties with school staff can be really helpful so that they can understand and know more about what the child is struggling with and how to help.
We also offer school observations if required and liason with school staff in order to discuss how best to support your child's emotional wellbeing and psychological needs. We are able to provide advice about adaptions and reasonable adjustments for when they are in school.
When children are exposed to adverse childhood experiences and trauma, the effects can be widespread and long lasting, not only on behavioural and social skills, but also in the classroom. Troubled behaviour can act as a barrier to learning. A trauma informed approach aims to protect pupils, parents and staff alike, and the wellbeing of all is the highest priority. We can provide advice and guidance about how to ensure that schools and colleges are trauma informed and those following this approach understand that behaviour is a form of communication. Working with traumatised pupils can be overwhelming for staff and ensuring that staff are well supported and educated about trauma is vital to the success of the approach.
When it comes to behaviour policies, there is increasing evidence that using a reward and punishment approach e.g. stickers, behaviour zones, points systems, time out, isolation and detention; is not helpful for mental health. Paul Dix who is a behaviour specialist and expert in this area writes about how prioritising relationships and connections can enhance learning and provides a good foundation for emotional wellbeing and mental health. We are able to talk this through with schools and offer advice about how to adapt behaviour policies in order to prioritise emotional wellbeing and provide a good foundation for mental health.